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    Make no mistake - just because a relationship is non-monogamous does not mean that cheating is impossible. If a couple agrees to threesomes only but one partner makes out with a stranger in a bar?

    Four parties in a group relationship agree not to involve new partners before getting tested, but then someone does the deed prematurely?

    Two swinger couples agree to swap husbands for one night, but then one half of the swap meets up again later without telling their partners?

    You guessed it: cheating. Non-monogamy is not something that takes place in dark corners and on password protected apps without the knowledge and consent of all parties involved.

    As do monogamous relationships, non-monogamous relationships require mutual trust and respect, while cheating undermines trust, respect and consent.

    To wit, cheating may fit the criteria of non-monogamy to the extent that there are more than two. But if everyone is not on board? For example….

    Except…with multiple partners. Right away that necessitates a lot more planning than monogamous folk have to worry about. Except…you agreed with your primary partner that Thursday was their day to ensure your quality time.

    Do you wait two weeks and risk the fizzle, or talk to your partner about making an exception? When there are more than two, it gets a lot more complicated.

    Especially in modern society where traditional dating rituals are quickly being deemed old-fashioned and uncool, and people are more inclined to just go with the flow.

    Such a thing is not a realistic option with multiple partners, which requires a greater level of transparency upfront and necessitates constant communication.

    But scheduling is not even the most intense challenge that people who chose to practice non-monogamy find themselves faced with.

    The biggest challenge non-monogamous folks face is rather monstrous, in fact. And green…. As it turns out, neither is the case. People who practice non-monogamy are more than aware of the existence of jealousy, and more than capable of experiencing it themselves.

    Or with Netflix. Jealousy, while it can be worked with and talked through , is a natural emotion that even those of us who choose to take a non-traditional path still experience.

    In comparison with monogamy, in fact, it forces a kind of work on trust that monogamous relationships bypass via the terms of monogamy.

    But non-monogamy turns that on its head. Once possession is removed, the love between two or more people is no longer defined by what they will not do with others, but by what they actually feel and have together.

    You are not being asked simply to trust that your partner will obey your mutually established rules , but instead to trust in your mutually established love.

    Trust that a casual tryst will not threaten your love. Trust that a new partner is truly an addition and not a replacement.

    Trust that even as a secondary or tertiary lover, you are still cared for and respected. Not to knock the merits or challenges of monogamy, but where time management, jealousy and trust are concerned, non-monogamous folk have a bit of a fuller plate, if I must say so myself.

    Do not be fooled into believing that the option to love and be loved by more than one human makes non-monogamy easy.

    It may feel like a more natural state of being, but nevertheless, as with all interpersonal relationships, hard work is not only expected but required.

    While that does make logical sense, love knows not of logic, and as fate would have it monogamous and non-monogamous people can and frequently do find themselves involved, in love, and in relationships.

    Is it easy? Refer to myth two! It requires compromise and understanding. Perhaps the parties involved agree that the monogamous partner will continue to practice monogamy while the non-monogamous partner is free to practice a form of non- monogamy.

    Example: I dated a man who was monogamous by nature, and was so with me, but was comfortable with my having a girlfriend in addition to our relationship, even though my relationship with her did not involve him [read: no threesomes.

    Similarly, perhaps an ordinarily monogamous partner will test and stretch their limits, agreeing to a mostly monogamous relationship with a swingers party here or a threesome there on occasion.

    At the end of the day we are all more than the labels we assign ourselves, and people who may seem unlikely to mesh on paper can and do attract.

    As long as trust, respect and consent are part of the formula, a mono and a poly can surely make it work. To the monogamous world, two people who essentially belong to each other is the only kind of fathomable commitment in existence.

    Since non-monogamous relationships function without the ideas of possession in play, some feel that this means commitment cannot and does not exist.

    Commitment absolutely can and does exist within non-monogamous relationships. Take the earlier example. My boyfriend was committed to me.

    I was committed to him. I was also committed to my girlfriend. She was committed to me. She was also committed to her boyfriend. He was committed to her.

    Conventional relationship ideals may claim this is ludicrous, but think of the structure of a family.

    Think of a mother who has more than one child. Does the arrival of baby number two mean that suddenly baby number one is getting tossed aside?

    Experienced swingers tend to avoid free members because they are much more likely to be fake accounts trying to steal private pictures. The smart option is to pay for a permanent aka lifetime membership.

    That sounds scary but it is usually much cheaper than paying monthly for a single year. Quiver — Popular in parts of Texas.

    Swingular — Popular in Utah. Four O — Private social network of swingers in Montana, contact for more information. There are over 30 swinging dating sites in the US.

    You should stick with these popular sites that are legitimate and have enough real members. Travelling north to Canada?

    Everything on the platform is geared towards sexual stimulation and attraction, and their innovative options allow for video sex, chatting, and in-person meetups.

    They also have a great fetish community that is full of opportunities for swingers, threesomes, poly couples, and more.

    Additionally, a scammer is far less likely to find themselves gravitating towards a website dedicated to casual hookups, since their whole game plays on a serious commitment from the other person.

    AshleyMadison is a site for those who are looking for extra-affairs outside of their marriages. This bodes well with the swinging community. Try AshleyMadison for Free FetLife Review Though set up as more of a community forum than a true dating site, FetLife is my favorite choice for any sort of fetish or kink related dating and hookup interests.

    If you do, you can block and move on. Unlike the first two covered, this dating site for swingers is targeted for them specifically. In addition to that, it works like such as well, instead of an open world forum concept like both of the previously mentioned.

    This site has installed safety measures to help protect its members and keep them safe, plus they have a very interactive customer service staff that responds to reports of fraudulent accounts.

    All interactions on the site are guaranteed to be genuine and safe to use. Another good niche site for swingers that targets their demographic is this one.

    This has more of an open forum feel while staying within the confines of a dating site. You also can connect with clubs, meet-ups, parties, events, and other real life interactions through the site.

    Scammers are not tolerated on the website and are detected and removed immediately. You can get a lot out of an active, dedicated community like this, and they protect their own.

    Busy lifestyles require accessible options for online hookups and dating, and thankfully, there is tons of dating apps out there.

    Of course, most websites also provide mobile optimized versions, and in some cases, companion apps.. Instead, here are a couple of phone only dating options for swingers to consider.

    For years now, Tinder has been considered by most to be the premium option for casual hookups and kinky sex.

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